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Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

This space is going to be on hiatus for a while for a couple of reasons. Namely, I'm simply too busy to type out my thoughts here on a regular basis and it's been difficult trying to get any inspiration to blog. This is not forever, though.

Meanwhile, follow me on twitter.com/amadeaxxdancer if you're interested in my daily thoughts and movements (:

Yesterday was one of the best nights I've had in months. Pedicure with Melissa, and dinner with the entourage at Aston's. It was an early birthday celebration for me, and belated for Josh. The last time we gathered, it was to visit Luke in the hospital because he got knocked down by a motorcycle hehehe... Good times. I miss them so much, I really look forward to things going back to the way they were after we all finish our O's this year.

BY THE WAY. I found the most incredibly awesome thing in the supermarket today... CARAMEL TEA! That's just completely outrageous isn't it... lol.

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You smile I smile

Gav's 21st (:

Fun and laughter, sparklers and bubbles, with the greatest people in the world.

Happy Birthday Gavin.

"I almost wish we were butterflies and liv'd but three summer days - three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain."
— John Keats (Bright Star: Love Letters and Poems of John Keats to Fanny Brawne)

“A thing of beauty is a joy for ever. Its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness, but still will keep a bower quiet for us, and a sleep full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.”

Bright Star (2009)

"Action is character, our English teacher says. I think it means that if we never did anything, we'd wouldn't be anybody."
An Education (2009)

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The little prince

"You are not at all like my rose," "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

My favourite things

What are your favourite things?

"it was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight."
- lolita by vladimir nabokov

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Today, I felt so alone in a crowded train. The cabin was filled with people. Tired people, happy people, angry people. People standing close together, like sardines in a can. It was noisy. There was an atmosphere in the air that said, 'The weekend has passed'. I was lost in my thoughts, and for a reason that I cannot figure out, I just didn't want to be around people. I longed to be alone so badly. There were so many things on my mind, so much I needed to clear out of my head. I shut my eyes so that the world will go black, so that I will not see the people, so that at least in my own head, I could be alone. Seemed like an eon before I reached my stop. After an unpleasant bus ride, I decided to take a long stroll home. I sang to myself, and I paced my footsteps according to the rhythm of the song. I sang many songs, one of which was "Someone to watch over me", one of my favourite songs. I walked, as the cars on the road went pass. As people overtook. As the streetlights blinded my eyes each time I looked straight at it. I stopped to look at a tree, do you know how beautiful a tree looks when you look up at it while standing under it?

I am a thousand miles away from where I'm sitting.

I am so in love with this mug, anyone knows where to get it on ebay? :)

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” — Apple Computer Inc."

I have been sleeping at 8:30pm for the past few nights. I know this isn't a very normal habit for someone who is going to take a national exam at the end of the year. I know that I'm being a complete slacker, don't lecture me :(

Which is why! (the exclamation mark is supposed to mean that I said the word in an especially high-pitched voice.) I am making myself stay up tonight to finish up the trash that has piled up due to my laziness over the past few nights. (My definition of "stay up": 11pm.) And yet! I am on the computer. Because! (Ok, I have to stop with this exclamation mark thing.) I studied Chapter 21 of Physics and it is humanly impossible to understand it. My heart has been crushed, I am actually having difficulty understanding my favourite subject. I have also revised for Chemistry SPA 3, which by the way, I am really happy is going to be over tomorrow. It will be my last science practical, finally finally finally. I was doing my Geography homework and I got stuck, which got me really annoyed. And so I decided to make and print myself a nice solubility table. Because I'm a dork. My life is so hard.

I apologise if I sound as if I am full of angst. Pardon me.

I think I am going to do the 2009 O level Chemistry Paper 2 now.